Making Plans
After getting the call on August 9th, I had 20 days to prepare for the show. First things first. I redeemed one of my Southwest Airlines reward tickets for a mid-afternoon Aug 29 flight to New York, returning late Wednesday evening. The show needed me there Aug 30th by 7am, and I had to stay an extra day in case I didn't get onto a show on Aug 30th, I would be on a show taped Aug 31. Next, I called my girlfriend Crystal and asked her if she wanted to come with me to New York. I only had a one-way fare left to redeem, so she'd have to buy the one-way trip back, but that would be her only expense. Next, I booked the hotel room at the hotel the show has a discount with. It was still a bit pricey in my opinion - but this WAS Manhattan after all. Crystal bought her ticket and all was set.
Meanwhile, I flaked on getting the required signed contracts and filled-out questionnaires to the producers on time. They told me to fax it by Friday Aug 12. On Sunday, August 14, I frantically finished all the paperwork and faxed everything the next day - wondering if they played everything letter-of-the-law. Could I be bumped for my flakiness? Nah, all was well (whew!). On omen for what was to come? Don't be ridiculous, there are no such things as omens.
A Man's Got To Know His Limitations
In the days leading up to the trip, the most often question asked of me was "how are you preparing". How does one prepare for a general-knowledge trivia game? I can't imagine. A co-worker suggested I start memorizing Wikipedia. Hmmm... Ultimately, I knew that I had 42 years of preparation and that would have to suffice. I DID, however, have a strategy.
The worst mistake I saw people make on the show was hubris. They get a question of which they think they might know the answer, and in a rush of adrenaline decide "I came here to play the game" in a hopeful effort to guess their way into more money.
Bad idea! Too often, it was a losing idea.
I borrowed my strategy from the plot theme of the Dirty Harry movie "Magnum Force" - A Man's Got To Know His Limitations.
My strategy was to only answer questions when I was 100% sure of the answer. If I had ANY doubts, I had to use the lifelines and then when those ran out - walk away. That seemed to be the way to go.
White Knuckles
Our flight was on Monday August 29. Crystal isn't too keen on flying. I paid a small fee to upgrade our Southwest tickets so we'd board earlier and be assured of sitting together.
She white-knuckled it to New York. Well, it least she was sharing in my nervousness. The closer we got to New York, the more apprehensive I became. I also resigned myself to the situation and decided to just let things happen as they would and not worry about anything.
Ha. Nice thought, sporto.
When we landed at LaGuardia, the first thing I noticed was what a complete dump of an airport it was. Even the old terminal in Detroit was nicer. Cincinnati's non-Delta terminal is nicer. I expected better from New York.
Hopped a cab to our hotel in the Upper West Side of Manhattan - The Lucerne. Nice place. Crystal and I unpacked then went out to check out the neighborhood. We decided to walk to the ABC Studios where the taping took place just to see if it was practical to walk or if the next day we'd have to cab it. 201 w. 79th st to 7 West 66th Street was about a mile away. Not bad. Back to the hotel and then time for dinner. One look at the prices for the room service food and we decided to find cheaper eats. Crystal stayed in the hotel while I walked to a place we saw called Big Nick's on 71st street. Nice place.
The Day Arrives - Comedy Ensues
I had to be at the studio by 7am on Tuesday August 30th. In order to save some money and walk out some anxiety, I had decided to walk to the studio. Unfortunately I was running late. I grabbed the change of clothes for the show and walked briskly out of the hotel. About 1/4 of the way there as I briskly walked south down Columbus Avenue, I got a flat tire. The sole on my right shoe separated from the show by about 90%. Only a 1/2 inch of the sole near the toe was still attached to the shoe. Um, okay...this is weird...what to do. I had to walk at a slow limp hoping the damn thing wouldn't totally come off. These being the ONLY shoes I brought, I could not discard the sole. Taking them off and walking barefoot was not an option based on the condition of the sidewalk. It's now 6:40am and there's very little traffic down Columbus. Any taxi I can see is not empty. I'm starting to panic. I will be late. Five minutes later I hail an empty taxi. It will be very close. We arrive at the studio, I get out and limp to the door where two Producers are waiting. "John?" they ask - betraying the fact that I am last to arrive. "Yes," I reply, "um, I blew a tire on the way here." I pointed to my shoe and asked if I could get tape to fix it. No problem. Later, they give me black gaffers tape - thin, but like a fabric tape. Worked like a charm and hopefully unnoticeable. An omen for what was to come? Please…
Hurry Up And Wait
Inside, all the contestants had to leave their cell phones in a communal cell phone bucket and we had a locker to put anything else. From that point on we were closely monitored by at least two Contestant handlers. Usually it was Eliana and Anita, and they were awesome. There was no TV or books or magazines in the Green Room, and pretty much we all just conversed as we waited to be called. I had a little hiccup with one of the forms I brought, but after a frantic call to my company's HR person I was able to resolve the issue.
They tape 5 episodes in a day and I think taping started at around 11am. There were a few people held over from the previous day so it was obvious that we would not be called for the first show at least. While the studio audience was filing in, the new contestants for the day were given a pep talk from the Supervising Producer ("Don't even try to cheat. It's a federal law. If you get caught even trying to cheat, you'll be in deep trouble") and then a tour of the set - including a chance to answer a test question. I completely messed up my test question. Wonderful. One of my fellow contestants - Jangela (who coincidentally was on the same show I was) switched phones with me so we could take pictures of each other.
Back upstairs while the rest of the studio audience filed in. Crystal got to the studio around 10am.
Meanwhile, my anxiety was building. When that happens, I start to withdraw and internalize. I was determined not to allow that, so I made sure to be involved in the conversations in the green room. All the other contestants were nice people. Not a douchebag in the bunch (unless it was me, but I doubt it). Sandwiches for lunch as the first, then second show was taped. The hold-overs were now exhausted and with the third show taped, our group started to be called. As one was called down, two were put on-deck.
Bring Me My Brown Pants!
After the third episode of the day was taped, the crew broke from a one-hour lunch. At that time, Three of us were summoned downstairs for some prep-work. We got mic'd and listened as someone entertained the crowd during the break. A bit of a pep talk from another awesome producer named Jordan ("Crystal is doing fine, she is hilarious!) who indirectly told me that Crystal was starting to freak out a bit about being on-camera. LOL. Jordan also told me that Meredith would bring up my music hobby and that I could mention the songs "I Wish My Girlfriend Was As Dirty As My Car" and "I Accidentally Wrote A Country Song' but that mentioning "Asshole Cabbie" would not be appropriate.
As we were sent back upstairs, I couldn't help but remember the old joke:
There was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and crossbones waving in the breeze. "Captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate. "First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea chest, and bring me my red shirt!" The first mate did so. Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought heroically, and managed to defeat the pirates, though they took many casualties. That night, the survivors had a great celebration. The first mate asked the captain the secret of his bright red shirt. "It's simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not show, and the crew continues to fight without fear."
A week passed, and they were nearing their home port, when suddenly the lookout cried that ten ships of the enemy's armada were approaching! "Captain, we're in terrible trouble, what do we do?" The first mate looked expectantly at the heroic Captain. "First mate," said the captain," bring me my brown pants!"
The Fog Rolls In
Jangela went downstairs as the next contestant and as I waited, things started to get slower and my mind began to cloud up. Oh, shit. I feared that I would forget the names of my own damn songs and began repeating them to myself. Oh, shit. The room felt smaller.
Then I was called, and snapped out of it. As we walked down, the excitement set in. This is it! Stop for a little touch-up on the makeup and then shuttled on-stage. I didn't know how Jangela did, but rather than starting with me out of a commercial break, I was positioned on stairs and would walk to the podium to start the game. This was a bit of a bummer, as that mean we would just start into the game and not have time for a formal introduction. Darn. Meredith Vieira was very nice (kiss-kiss) and asked me how to pronounce my last name.
I took my place on the stairs, watched the floor manager who would signal me and took a deep breath as the crowd of 200 whipped into a frenzy.
Tomorrow: The Game is Afoot!
Watch the show today!
