WBEZ's New Schedule

WBEZ-FM is making some big revisions to their schedule starting Monday. 

As with most schedule changes, some things make sense, some are head scratchers. Some changes are being made to save/maximize programming costs – BBC World News, The World and Q go away in favor of a 2^nd hour of Here and Now, a Marketplace rerun, The Daily and a 1A 2^nd run.

Since the NY Stock Exchange closes at 3pm, running Marketplace as early as possible (4:30) makes sense to appeal to people with financial market interest.  All Things Considered gets big ratings, so not cutting it down from 3½ hours makes sense. The show is live from 3-5pm, then after that it is rerun on a loop with needed updates inserted. So, all along the last 90 minutes of the show has been a repeat anyway.  But now with a 4:30 Marketplace pre-empting that last live 1/2 hour, people listening from 3pm have to wait until 6:30pm to hear the 1/2 hour they missed, which kinda sucks.I would have slotted Marketplace at 5pm because of this.

At 7pm, I loved The World with Marco Werman, but I was apparently in the minority. Since the show was not simply moved to a later time period (such as 10pm or 11pm), it must have had low enough ratings that a later time slot made no cost sense.

The weekend changes are likely mostly due to ratings, trying to establish better flow and compatibility, but there were a few notable changes. Slotting It’s Been a Minute between tent poles Wait Wait and This American Life will ensure a lot of sampling. Two repeats of Sound Opinions on the weekend seems a bit much, but if the audience it there, then splitting them to Sat & Sun vs both on Saturday makes the most sense. The loss of the Filmspotting repeat Saturday nights is highly disappointing.

A third hour of Weekend Edition Sunday is silly without the show running live 7-9am. Instead, WBEZ runs the show 8-10, so the 10-11am hour (either a repeat of 7-8am or 8-9am) is old. I would bet the cost to add the 3^rd hour is minimal, and the hope is the audience will stay – bolstered with the Wait Wait repeat moving to 11am. I am looking forward to Hidden Brain, but not at 8pm Sunday. The 2^nd repeat of This American Life is being used to draw people to the excellent Innovation Hub and the new Hidden Brain, but Sunday night is a graveyard for radio, so good luck with that. I would have slotted Hidden Brain at 2pm out of Freakonomics, followed by Innovation Hub for a 3-hour block of Grey Matter stimuli.

I think several shows downgraded to Sunday late night are now on cancellation watch when the next schedule change is made - The New Yorker Radio Hour, Radiolab and Snap Judgement.  All are very uneven (sometimes great, sometimes dull) shows

You can download a schedule grid here.

NEW WEEKDAYS:  1A, The Daily

GONE WEEKDAYS: The Takeaway, The World, BBC Newshour, Q

NEW WEEKENDS: It’s Been A Minute, The Takeaway, Q The Music, Hidden Brain

GONE WEEKENDS: Le Show

WEEKDAYS

10am – 1A

From WAMU Washington DC, a talk show hosted by Joshua Johnson.  The show airs live 9-11am, so WBEZ will either be airing hour 2 live or hour 1 on tape.  https://the1a.org/about

Replaces The Takeaway

2pm – Hear And Now (hour 2)

From WBUR Boston, WBEZ now airs the full 2-hour show (except Fridays when Science Friday will pre-empt the first hour).  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Here_and_Now_(Boston)

Replaces BBC NewsHour

4:30pm - Marketplace

Kai Ryssdal and company move to 4:30pm.  This show is spectacular.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marketplace_(radio_program)

7pm (Mon-Thu)- Marketplace

Kai Ryssdal and company repeat themselves at 7pm. 

Replaces The World, Marco Werman’s spectacular show of global stories (I will miss The World).

7:30pm (Mon-Thu) – The Daily

From The New York Times, a podcast hosted by Michael Barbaro.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Daily_(podcast)

8pm (Mon-Thu) – Fresh Air repeat

Did you miss the 11am Fresh Air?  You get another chance at 8pm.  Hosted by the worst interviewer in the history of radio, Terri Gross, the show moves up from 10pm, where it was likely putting people to sleep.

Replaces repeats of Snap Judgement (M), TED Radio Hour (Tu), Radiolab (W), The Moth (Th)

9pm Mon – TED Radio Hour repeat

9pm Tue – Snap Judgement repeat

9pm Wed – On Being repeat

9pm Thu – The Moth repeat

Replaces repeats of New Yorker Radio Hour (M), On Being (Tu), Re: Sound (W), Freakonomics Radio (Th)

10pm (Mon-Thu) – 1A

A one-hour “best-of” from the earlier 2-hour broadcast, so not a true repeat since there should be some unaired new material.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1A_(radio)

Replaces Fresh Air repeats

11pm (Mon-Thu) – BBC World Service

Overnight news from across the pond starts an hour earlier.

Replaces Q

SATURDAYS

11am - It’s Been A Minute

Sam Sanders’ weekly news recap gets a cushy timeslot between Wait Wait & This American Life.  https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510317/its-been-a-minute-with-sam-sanders

12n – This American Life repeat

Moves from 11am

2pm – TED Radio Hour

Moves from 12n

3pm – The Takeaway

A weekend edition of the show starts June 1 with Amy Walter as host. Leads into the Saturday All Things Considered  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Takeaway

7pm – Sound Opinions repeat

Moves from 2pm

8pm – Bullseye with Jessie Thorn

Moves from 9pm

9pm – Live Wire Radio!

Moves from 7pm

11pm – Fresh Air weekend

Moves from 8pm

12n – Q The Music

The daily Q is gone, but here we get the best of the Q’s music coverage from the past week.  https://www.cbcmusic.ca/programs/qthemusic

SUNDAYS

10pm Weekend Edition Sunday 3^rd hour

WBEZ adds a repeat of the 1^st hour of Weekend Edition Sunday for some reason.

11pm – Wait Wait Don’t Tell me repeat

Moves from 5pm

12n – On The Media

Moves from 10pm

1pm – Freakonomics Radio

Moves from 11am

2pm – Sound Opinions 2^nd repeat

Moves from 11pm Saturday

3pm – Reveal

Moves from 3pm Saturday.  Leads into the Sunday All Things Considered

5pm – Innovation Hub

Moves from 6pm

6pm – This American Life repeat

Moves from 7pm

7pm – Re: Sound

Moves from 8pm, is still usually terrible.

8pm – Hidden Brain

Shankar Vedantam‘s show exploring human behavior and life's unseen patterns. Should be aired in a block with The TED Radio Hour and Freakonomics. Maybe someday… https://www.npr.org/2015/09/03/437264048/about-hidden-brain

9pm – New Yorker Radio Hour

Moves from 1pm. Inexplicably uneven show (great sometimes, not good sometimes) gets buried, will likely gone from the schedule by the end of the year.

10pm – Radiolab

Moves from 12n.  I love Robert Krulwich, but of late this show bores the shit out of me. Buried on Sunday night where I won’t be listening.

11pm - Snap Judgement

Moves from 2pm. Sometimes I love this show, sometimes I am confused as to what’s going on. Maybe I am old. Buried on Sunday night.

RUSH: Clockwork Angels album review

On the occasion of the long-overdue induction of Rush into the Rock & Roll hall of Fame, I present my review of their current album “Clockwork Angels”:

In their 44-year (and counting) career, Rush has amassed 24 gold records and 14 platinum (3 multi-platinum) records; placing them third after The Beatles and The Rolling Stones for the most consecutive gold or platinum studio albums by a rock band.  Their 20^th studio album, “Clockwork Angels,” could very well be their best yet.  I give it 9 out of 10 stars – and I reserve the right to increase that rating.

“Clockwork Angels” is an ambitious concept album that fires on all cylinders and dramatically delivers an entertaining emotional story with the surgical precision that Rush fans have come to expect.   The concept is simple, broad and universal: an idealistic young man takes a literal and emotional journey.  Rather than create epics songs as they have in the past (2112, Hemispheres), Rush created an epic album with each song illustrating a high point of the man’s journey.  The album’s 12 tracks are the 12 most important chapters in a story that likely contains 20+ chapters.  For those who want to know the complete Clockwork Angels story, Novelist Kevin J. Anderson, a friend of Neil Peart, will release a novelization of the album later this year. 

Starting with their 1996 album “Test For Echo”, Neil Peart’s lyrics took a decidedly heavy turn - more so following the tragic loss of his daughter in 1997 and wife in 1998.  The lyrics on 2002’s “Vapor Trails” and 2007’s “Snakes And Arrows” feel heavy, meandering, detached and in some cases joyless.  Conversely, the lyrics on “Clockwork Angels” feel fresh, tight and multi-layered.  Neil Peart’s drumming on Clockwork Angels is better than ever thanks to his studies with Freddie Gruber  and the direction of album Co-Producer Nick Raskulinecz.  Ho-hum: Alex Lifeson’s guitar playing and Geddy Lee’s Bass playing are as stellar as ever. 

The following is my track-by-track analysis, including songwriter notes that might only interest a few:

1 – Caravan

“In a world where I feel so small / I can’t stop thinking big”

One of two tracks released in June 2010, it sets up the story nicely: In a steampunk world, a boy watches steamliners rolling by and dreams of leaving his farming village and making it in the distant city.  Hard-driving and fairly straight-forward with a funky 1:30 instrumental in the middle, “Caravan” sets up the album perfectly.

This is technically the first single from the album, released in 2010.

2 – BU2B

“Blind men in the market / Buying what we’re sold”

Released with Caravan in 2010, “BU2B” (Brought Up To Believe) was remixed and a new intro was added for the album version.  BU2B presents the mindset of the society – life has been pre-planned for everyone by the loving Watchmaker and you get out of life what you deserve as long as you blindly conform. A dark slash-and-burn song, the heavy guitars in the verses contrast with buzzing, dissonant guitar sounds in the chorus. 

*Songwriting Note*: Peart wrote the song as a series of quatrains in which the first line of each quatrain is the 2^nd line of the previous quatrain.  Works fine for the first 2 verses & chorus, but the last 2 verses had to be re-arranged when the song was completed.  Still, it’s an interesting lyric form.

3 – Clockwork Angels

“You promise every treasure to the foolish and the wise / Goddesses of mystery, spirits in disguise”

High above the heart of the city square we see the angels of light, sea, sky and land assuring the denizens that “everything will turn out for the best”.  Clocking in at a trim 7 ½ minutes, the title track of the album begins with a guitar part that had me thinking of “Cygnus X-1” and “Hemispheres”.  Dissonance in the vocal melody called back to those songs as well but also added tension to the narrative. 

*Songwriting Note*: The Bridge of the song is a variation of Proverbs 3:5  from the "Old Testament".

4 – The Anarchist

”The lenses inside of me that paint the world black / The pools of poison, the scarlet mist, that spill over into rage”

We are introduced to a new character – a terrorist who blames his life’s failures on society and plans revenge. The song’s intro knocks you down: thunderous tom-toms, driving descending guitar riff, funky bass, then the bass melody knocks you out.  The song circles around and inside the Anarchist’s mind -  not to make sense of his actions but to illustrate commitment and motivation.  The guitar solo on this song reminded me of Alex’s guitars on Grace Under Pressure.

*Songwriting Note*: The verses carry the same rhyme for 4 lines, the chorus rhymes lines 2, 5 & 6 (a repeater line) also lines 3 & 4 rhyme.

5 – Carnies

“Sometimes the angels punish us by answering our prayers”

Our protagonist is working in a travelling carnival when his path crosses with that of the Anarchist leading to an unfortunate outcome.  The song opens with a heavy, HEAVY guitar riff evocative of “Working Man” - I wanted more of that riff. There’s a lot of nice things in this song that I wanted to hear more of – including a cool jabbing synth riff – that I wonder if this song was originally twice as long to accommodate all the great parts.  A good song that made me wanting more.

6 – Halo Effect

“So shameful to tell / Just how often I fell / In love with illusions again”

A short interlude to the narrative as the young man muses on a girl in the carnival he fell for who reeled him in only to ultimately reject him.  Musically this song is a bit of a pallet cleanser – a short, light ballad detailing yet another instance where the young man’s perception is proven terribly wrong.

*Songwriting Note*: There is no rhyming scheme and there is no chorus - a musical interlude serves as a bridge.  The changing refrain “What did I ___? / Fool that I was” at the start of each verse serves to tie everything together.

7 – Seven Cities of Gold

“A man can lose himself in a country like this”

Our protagonist hears the legend of the seven cities of gold that lie past the desert.  Enduring a parched desert and snow-covered mountains, Cibola always seems out of reach.  The songs starts out with a very funky bass riff and has an atmospheric guitar solo in the middle. 

*Songwriting Note*: The chorus rhyming scheme effectively uses the suffix “-ation”  The second half of lines 1 & 3 of each verse repeat the same line, while lines 2 & 4 rhyme both halves of each line (4 rhymes total) with relevant imagery of the journey.  Simple & effective.

8 – The Wreckers

“All I know is that sometimes you have to be wary / Of a miracle too good to be true”

Our protagonist is on a sailing vessel that is distressed during a storm, when the boat steers toward what appears to be a safe harbor.  As the ship breaks apart on jagged reefs and is plundered by locals, our protagonist is the sole survivor.  This is the 3rd single from the album.

The music for this song came about when Geddy was fooling around with one of Alex’s guitars that had been set to “Nashville tuning”.  After Geddy wrote the chorus and verse chords, Alex grabbed a bass and wrote the bass part. 

*Songwriting Note*: Nashville tuning is replacing the 4 low strings (E A D G) on a 6-string guitar with lighter gauge strings set an octave higher than usual.  This is usually done by taking the higher strings from a 12-string set.

9 – Headlong Flight

“Some days were dark / I wish that I could live it all again”

Our protagonist reflects back on his adventures, and despite enduring some tough times, he wishes he could do it all over for the fun of it.  This is the 2nd single from the album.

This is the song that “old Rush” fans would enjoy the most.  It’s a non-stop out-of-control jam.  The lyric “I wish that I could live it all again” came from Neil’s drum teacher and friend Freddie Gruber who passed away in 2011.  The drum work on this song is insane!

10 – BU2B2

“Belief has failed me now / Life goes from bad to worse”

A dark cloud is over our protagonist as he reflects back on his adventures again and this time he feels despair that things are not all that great living outside the orderly universe of the Watchmaker, but he makes the best of what he has left.  This is a very short, story-filler song.

*Songwriting Note*: Like BU2B, this song is a series of quatrains.

11 – Wish Them Well

“Thank your stars you're not that way / Turn your back and walk away”

Rather than try to change or waste energy on people who are bitter and vengeful toward him, our protagonist decides to just walk away and let them go without even asking for an explanation.

The lyrics apparently sprang from Neil Peart’s own experiences with people once considered friends.  It’s a good hard-driving song, but the message in the lyrics carry the song.

12 – The Garden

“The measure of a life is a measure of love and respect / So hard to earn, so easily burned”

Sentimental and heartfelt, this is a song about reflection and the meaning of life itself.  The final song on the album is possibly the best song on the album.  Starts out with shimmering keyboards and strings, with acoustic guitar entering as the verse starts.  The drums do not enter until after the chorus – it’s a great build to the highly emotional song.  Say what you will about the tone of Geddy’s voice, but he nails this song perfectly.  Alex’s solo for this song is amazing!   Awesome, awesome song.

For all those “Old Rush” Rush fans – THIS is an album to check out.   

You might actually like it.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - The Game is Afoot!

I appeared on yesterday's (September 27th, 2011) original episode of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". This is the story of what happened after Meredith Vieira announced my name.

Breathe...BREATHE DAMMIT!
Standing on the steps of the Millionaire stage, I could feel many higher brain functions overloading. I had not expected the nervousness to overwhelm me in such a way. It wasn't that I couldn't think - it was that my mind was racing and trying to process the whole situation while simultaneously controlling my emotions and at the same time sustaining the life functions of within my body.

Luckily I had already pooped earlier that morning.

First up was the ceremonial kiss-greeting with Meredith. I hate the cheek-to-cheek kiss-greeting. I find it fake and unsatisfying. Yet, I knew I could not approach with outstretched tongue. I acquiesced. Step over to the podium and look down to make sure I am on my mark. Whew! Everything's going as just as I expected.
"So how long have you wanted to be on the show?" Meredith asks.
Wait, what?
This is the most obvious part of the show where my nervousness comes out. I had not expected this question. Before the show, the Producers I had talked with said that she would probably ask me about my music or maybe the comic collection. I didn't know that something I mentioned at the audition 7 weeks prior would make it on the show. I had mentioned that I went to the first auditions for the show 10 years prior. Seemed like an off-handed comment. Yikes. Now I needed to summon up my year of Improv "Yes, and" training to find an appropriate answer.
"...I've wanted to be on the show since the show came into syndication," I blurted.
Ugh...wasn't ready for that. Let's just get to the game.

Randomizing
Most of my friends and family didn't know that last season the show was changed so that all the money amounts are randomized, then the questions are randomized. Now you could get a hard question with a low dollar amount and an easy question with a high dollar amount. This eliminated the most boring part of the classic show where contestants answered several "duh" questions until they got to the harder questions.

I would say it also made the show harder.

Now you could see an easy question and wonder if it were a trick question (which they never do anyway). Yikes!

Take a look at how my categories were shuffled:

The hardest category was shuffled down as the first question!

Question #1: Category, 'Bewildering Bylines'
What unusual twosome co-wrote an opinion piece in USA Today in 2011 about the need to eradicate dirty stoves in homes worldwide?

A: Angelina Jolie and Bob Dole
B: Sandra Bullock and Joe Biden
C: Julia Roberts and Hillary Clinton
D: Madonna and Colin Powell
This question ended up being what the Producers considered the hardest of the bunch. Oh, love my luck!
My first thought: "What the F@#&???" My second thought: "Since when does anyone pay attention to USA Today opinion pieces?" I had never heard about this before so I knew immediately to jump the question, so I used my first lifeline on the first question.
The answer was C: Julia and Hilary. Good for them.

Question #2: Category, 'Ancient Trends'
Finding 57 of them preserved on a 5,300-year-old mummy, scientists had to rethink the origins of what body decoration?
A: Tattoos
B: Bracelets
C: Piercings
D: Necklaces This question ended up being what the Producers considered the #4 on the 1-10 easy-to-hard scale. I could not decide between tattoos and Piercings. On the one hand, 57 tattoos seemed excessive for someone not dating Kat Von D. On the other, I could see 57 pieces of metal attached to a mummy. I wasn't too sure, so on the second question I felt I needed to burn my second lifeline. I wasn't completely sure the audience was made up of mostly archaeologists and anthropologists, so I jumped the question.
The answer was A: Tattoos.
Skipping the first two questions…all I could think about was that I was in trouble. And that I must look really dumb.

Question #3: Category, 'Party Time'
A recent social trend, "dadchelor parties" are events thrown for men who are about to what?

A: Graduate from college
B: Buy a home
C: Have a baby
D: Retire from a job
This question ended up being what the Producers considered the easiest question. Earlier in the day, a Producer gave us tips on what to expect and how to play. One of those tips was that some questions actually lead you to the answer if you read them. I have never heard of the term "Dadchelor Party" and I have yet to find someone who has. However, considering I am planning a Bachelor Party for my friend Joe, this seemed like a simple analogy question to me Marriage is to Bachelor party as WHAT is to Dadchelor party.

I made an educated guess of C: Have a baby and was correct!

Then the money was revealed - $25,000! Wow! With one question, I was out of a massive hole! Sweet!

Also: Meredith High-Fived me! Ha!




Commercial Break
At this point in the game, we went to commercial and I was able to bask in my last-question success. While a few adjustments were being made, Meredith and I had some small talk time. She was consoling about the first two questions and said good job on the last one. She mentioned that she had lived in Chicago for a time and that a couple of her kids were going to Northwestern University. In the short time I talked with her onstage, I can tell she's a very nice person. The Producers had even told us that she takes it hard when people miss questions. I believe that.

In my post yesterday, I mentioned that my strategy was to only answer the question if I was 100% sure, otherwise use up my lifelines and then walk away. There was also a second part of my Strategy - take a lot of time before answering every question. When you watch the show, it looks like I answered everything very quick. Not so. They edited a lot out. Even (sadly) some funny banter between Meredith and I. The next question was the only question that needed no editing.

Question #4: Category, 'Book Buying' - Double Money Question
Using an image from a classic children's book, Barnes & Noble offers a gift card that shows a girl and her pig looking at a what?

A: Ant
B: Butterfly
C: Spider
D: Grasshopper
This question ended up being what the Producers considered the #5 on the 1-10 easy-to-hard scale. I had an inkling that it was the spider and maybe Charlotte's Web, but I never read the book and vaguely remembered the 1973 animated movie. My strategy dictated that I ask the audience.
87% of them said it was C: Spider. HA!
I felt the audience at that point was getting an air of superiority about them, so I decided to stroke their collective ego
"This audience has yet to fail me," I said, getting a big laugh and applause from them. Then when Meredith added the great straight-man's line of "There is always a first time…", I had a chance to throw out some of my better facial reactions:

Okay, I accepted that overwhelming vote and locked it in waiting to see what dollar amount would be doubled. $100!!!! Woo-hooo! $25,200 in the bank!
Actually, I did cheer this in an exaggerated fashion, but I still had a ton of pent-up anxiety to deal with. By this time you might expect me to ease into things. Not at all. I was having difficulty concentrating and standing still.

Question #5: Category, 'Winning Formulas'
"All I had to do was keep turning left," said George Robson about his 1946 victory in what sporting event?
A: Boston Marathon
B: Indianapolis 500
C: PGA Championship
D: Wimbledon This question ended up being what the Producers considered the #2 on the 1-10 easy-to-hard scale but I found easiest. Duh…racecar drivers on an oval only turn left. Strange that they named the category "Winning Formulas" because Formula One racers turn left and right on most of their courses.
I said B: Indianapolis 500, and that was correct. $7,000 more in the bank that now totaled $32,200.

Question #6: Category, 'Different Strokes'
Due to his unusual painting technique, what artist earned the nickname "Jack the Dripper"?

A: Jackson Pollock
B: Salvador Dali
C: Jasper Johns
D: Marcel Duchamp
This question ended up being what the Producers considered the #3 on the 1-10 easy-to-hard scale but I know little about painting. Cut from the show was me reading the question to myself again and then each name aloud. Concentration was minimal. However, I remembered that they have no trick questions. I vaguely recalled Jackson Pollock as being a "messy" painter and he was the only one whose first name was "Jack" or "John", so I made an educated guess of A: Jackson Pollock.
Correct! And $15,000 behind that question. I was floored...well...the look on my face says it all! $47,200 in the bank. Oh, my! I let out a few "woo"'s in order to release some of that building tension.

Question #7: Category, 'Foreign Leaders'
In the 1950s and '60s, what Asian country had a president who was affectionately referred to by his citizens as "Uncle Ho"?

A: Japan
B: India
C: Vietnam
D: China
This question ended up being what the Producers considered the #9 on the 1-10 easy-to-hard scale. Okay, so this is where things started to unravel in my head. I heard the question. Then I read the question to myself. Then I read it again. I could not comprehend what I was reading. Vapor Lock. I took a lot of time answering this question because I was out of my mind by that time. I read it again aloud and "Ho Chi Minh Trail" hit me. Duh.

Vietnam. Final answer.

Correct! For another $500 and now $47,700 in the bank.!!!

Going into commercial break, I gave Meredith the laser eyes "I'm freaking out here" look.






Club Millionaire & Say Hi to the Girlfriend

During the commercial break, Meredith did a "Club Millionaire" bumper question. There were some technical issues so it took a while. Meredith asked me how long Crystal and I had been dating. I told her 9 months and that things were looking very good. She said that was wonderful. I had a feeling that meant we'd introduce Crystal to the TV audience next and hoped that I could talk about my music and mention "Atomic Shop" on the air. We came back from commercial, Meredith mentioned Crystal, who waved to the camera then to me, and we kept playing. Sadly, all of that was cut out of the show (sorry, babe) and even more disappointing, I was not able to mention my music on national-freaking-television!

Question #8: Category, 'Cover Girl'
What supermodel has appeared on the most covers of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue?
A: Elle Macpherson
B: Christie Brinkley
C: Kathy Ireland
D: Cheryl Tiegs "Well, if the question were about all the sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues I possess," I said as Meredith chuckled, "I know the answer, and that would be C: Kathy Ireland". Now, during the taping, my deliberations went longer - even to a point where Meredith asked me where I kept my swimsuit issues (she's a great straight-man!) and I replied I kept them under the bed. I recalled the "Family Guy" episode with the Kathy Ireland cut-out. I knew is wasn't Christie Brinkley or Cheryl Tiegs. I was not 100% sure what it was. My strategy dictated that I walk. Except I never thought that. I never thought about getting more money either. It was crazy…I just plowed ahead to answer the question. WTF!

"Meredith, I'm going to swing away on this," I said, "I'm going to say C: Kathy Ireland...and that's my final answer."
At that point, I felt the music tone changed and the pause was too long.

Fuck.
Me.
I blew it!.

It was Elle Macpherson…on the cover 5 times. I could have walked away with $23,850 but instead left with $1,000

This is me, trying to figure out WHY I even answered that question.

Meredith was bummed and as we waited for "clear" she tried to console. I said I guess I was thinking who's been in the most issues (probably not true either) but mostly I was trying to figure out why I didn't follow the strategy. Why did I answer the question at all?

Tomorrow: Coping With The Failure

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - The Prep Work

I will be appearing on today's (September 27th, 2011) original episode of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". In Chicago, the show airs at 4pm followed by a repeat episode at 4:30. This is the story of what I did from the time I got the call to appear until the taping began.

Making Plans
After getting the call on August 9th, I had 20 days to prepare for the show. First things first. I redeemed one of my Southwest Airlines reward tickets for a mid-afternoon Aug 29 flight to New York, returning late Wednesday evening. The show needed me there Aug 30th by 7am, and I had to stay an extra day in case I didn't get onto a show on Aug 30th, I would be on a show taped Aug 31. Next, I called my girlfriend Crystal and asked her if she wanted to come with me to New York. I only had a one-way fare left to redeem, so she'd have to buy the one-way trip back, but that would be her only expense. Next, I booked the hotel room at the hotel the show has a discount with. It was still a bit pricey in my opinion - but this WAS Manhattan after all. Crystal bought her ticket and all was set.

Meanwhile, I flaked on getting the required signed contracts and filled-out questionnaires to the producers on time. They told me to fax it by Friday Aug 12. On Sunday, August 14, I frantically finished all the paperwork and faxed everything the next day - wondering if they played everything letter-of-the-law. Could I be bumped for my flakiness? Nah, all was well (whew!). On omen for what was to come? Don't be ridiculous, there are no such things as omens.

A Man's Got To Know His Limitations
In the days leading up to the trip, the most often question asked of me was "how are you preparing". How does one prepare for a general-knowledge trivia game? I can't imagine. A co-worker suggested I start memorizing Wikipedia. Hmmm... Ultimately, I knew that I had 42 years of preparation and that would have to suffice. I DID, however, have a strategy.

The worst mistake I saw people make on the show was hubris. They get a question of which they think they might know the answer, and in a rush of adrenaline decide "I came here to play the game" in a hopeful effort to guess their way into more money.
Bad idea! Too often, it was a losing idea.
I borrowed my strategy from the plot theme of the Dirty Harry movie "Magnum Force" - A Man's Got To Know His Limitations.
My strategy was to only answer questions when I was 100% sure of the answer. If I had ANY doubts, I had to use the lifelines and then when those ran out - walk away. That seemed to be the way to go.

White Knuckles
Our flight was on Monday August 29. Crystal isn't too keen on flying. I paid a small fee to upgrade our Southwest tickets so we'd board earlier and be assured of sitting together.
She white-knuckled it to New York. Well, it least she was sharing in my nervousness. The closer we got to New York, the more apprehensive I became. I also resigned myself to the situation and decided to just let things happen as they would and not worry about anything.
Ha. Nice thought, sporto.

When we landed at LaGuardia, the first thing I noticed was what a complete dump of an airport it was. Even the old terminal in Detroit was nicer. Cincinnati's non-Delta terminal is nicer. I expected better from New York.
Hopped a cab to our hotel in the Upper West Side of Manhattan - The Lucerne. Nice place. Crystal and I unpacked then went out to check out the neighborhood. We decided to walk to the ABC Studios where the taping took place just to see if it was practical to walk or if the next day we'd have to cab it. 201 w. 79th st to 7 West 66th Street was about a mile away. Not bad. Back to the hotel and then time for dinner. One look at the prices for the room service food and we decided to find cheaper eats. Crystal stayed in the hotel while I walked to a place we saw called Big Nick's on 71st street. Nice place.

The Day Arrives - Comedy Ensues
I had to be at the studio by 7am on Tuesday August 30th. In order to save some money and walk out some anxiety, I had decided to walk to the studio. Unfortunately I was running late. I grabbed the change of clothes for the show and walked briskly out of the hotel. About 1/4 of the way there as I briskly walked south down Columbus Avenue, I got a flat tire. The sole on my right shoe separated from the show by about 90%. Only a 1/2 inch of the sole near the toe was still attached to the shoe. Um, okay...this is weird...what to do. I had to walk at a slow limp hoping the damn thing wouldn't totally come off. These being the ONLY shoes I brought, I could not discard the sole. Taking them off and walking barefoot was not an option based on the condition of the sidewalk. It's now 6:40am and there's very little traffic down Columbus. Any taxi I can see is not empty. I'm starting to panic. I will be late. Five minutes later I hail an empty taxi. It will be very close. We arrive at the studio, I get out and limp to the door where two Producers are waiting. "John?" they ask - betraying the fact that I am last to arrive. "Yes," I reply, "um, I blew a tire on the way here." I pointed to my shoe and asked if I could get tape to fix it. No problem. Later, they give me black gaffers tape - thin, but like a fabric tape. Worked like a charm and hopefully unnoticeable. An omen for what was to come? Please…

Hurry Up And Wait
Inside, all the contestants had to leave their cell phones in a communal cell phone bucket and we had a locker to put anything else. From that point on we were closely monitored by at least two Contestant handlers. Usually it was Eliana and Anita, and they were awesome. There was no TV or books or magazines in the Green Room, and pretty much we all just conversed as we waited to be called. I had a little hiccup with one of the forms I brought, but after a frantic call to my company's HR person I was able to resolve the issue.

They tape 5 episodes in a day and I think taping started at around 11am. There were a few people held over from the previous day so it was obvious that we would not be called for the first show at least. While the studio audience was filing in, the new contestants for the day were given a pep talk from the Supervising Producer ("Don't even try to cheat. It's a federal law. If you get caught even trying to cheat, you'll be in deep trouble") and then a tour of the set - including a chance to answer a test question. I completely messed up my test question. Wonderful. One of my fellow contestants - Jangela (who coincidentally was on the same show I was) switched phones with me so we could take pictures of each other.

Back upstairs while the rest of the studio audience filed in. Crystal got to the studio around 10am.
Meanwhile, my anxiety was building. When that happens, I start to withdraw and internalize. I was determined not to allow that, so I made sure to be involved in the conversations in the green room. All the other contestants were nice people. Not a douchebag in the bunch (unless it was me, but I doubt it). Sandwiches for lunch as the first, then second show was taped. The hold-overs were now exhausted and with the third show taped, our group started to be called. As one was called down, two were put on-deck.

Bring Me My Brown Pants!
After the third episode of the day was taped, the crew broke from a one-hour lunch. At that time, Three of us were summoned downstairs for some prep-work. We got mic'd and listened as someone entertained the crowd during the break. A bit of a pep talk from another awesome producer named Jordan ("Crystal is doing fine, she is hilarious!) who indirectly told me that Crystal was starting to freak out a bit about being on-camera. LOL. Jordan also told me that Meredith would bring up my music hobby and that I could mention the songs "I Wish My Girlfriend Was As Dirty As My Car" and "I Accidentally Wrote A Country Song' but that mentioning "Asshole Cabbie" would not be appropriate.

As we were sent back upstairs, I couldn't help but remember the old joke:
There was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and crossbones waving in the breeze. "Captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate. "First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea chest, and bring me my red shirt!" The first mate did so. Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought heroically, and managed to defeat the pirates, though they took many casualties. That night, the survivors had a great celebration. The first mate asked the captain the secret of his bright red shirt. "It's simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not show, and the crew continues to fight without fear."
A week passed, and they were nearing their home port, when suddenly the lookout cried that ten ships of the enemy's armada were approaching! "Captain, we're in terrible trouble, what do we do?" The first mate looked expectantly at the heroic Captain. "First mate," said the captain," bring me my brown pants!"

The Fog Rolls In
Jangela went downstairs as the next contestant and as I waited, things started to get slower and my mind began to cloud up. Oh, shit. I feared that I would forget the names of my own damn songs and began repeating them to myself. Oh, shit. The room felt smaller.
Then I was called, and snapped out of it. As we walked down, the excitement set in. This is it! Stop for a little touch-up on the makeup and then shuttled on-stage. I didn't know how Jangela did, but rather than starting with me out of a commercial break, I was positioned on stairs and would walk to the podium to start the game. This was a bit of a bummer, as that mean we would just start into the game and not have time for a formal introduction. Darn. Meredith Vieira was very nice (kiss-kiss) and asked me how to pronounce my last name.

I took my place on the stairs, watched the floor manager who would signal me and took a deep breath as the crowd of 200 whipped into a frenzy.

Tomorrow: The Game is Afoot!

Watch the show today!